Get a life (or just start with a hobby)
We are told finding a new hobby can be incredibly fulfilling, providing a much-needed break from daily responsibilities and a chance to pursue personal interests. We “should” discover hobbies that enrich our lives and bring joy and relaxation. Whether it's a creative pursuit, a physical activity, or a new skill, there's a hobby out there for everyone! Of course, who doesn’t want all of the above and it sounds so easy, right? Wrong! I have been trying for 3 decades to get a life for myself…… and failed every time …. why??
I thought the obvious thing to do was physical exercise classes. Over the years, I have done every single fitness fad going; yoga, bums and tums, circuits, Pilates, step etc. I have tried walking, jogging, running. Even entering a few “races” over the years, my favourites being the Nike Night 10K around London and the few Races for Life. Enjoyable only for the views and company of my pals, I hated the running bit!
So, having failed at all that, here I am trying AGAIN to find something else to do with my own time that doesn’t involve work or kids and to get me out of my house and get a “life”, a hobby which is suitable for my age, body and mind, which I can (this time) commit to!
I did an internet searching on how to find a hobby and was presented with the following advice:
Transform what you already enjoy into a hobby.
Reclaim your childhood interests.
Take an assessment.
Start trying things (and see what sticks).
Try a couple of ideas on for size.
Having done no’s 4 and 5, I referred to no’s 1 - 3
1. I love doing things with people and not on my own, 2. I need to go down memory lane & 3. I have no idea what this means… anyone??
So for no. 2 The Memory lane trip - You probably won’t believe me, but I was very sporty at school, playing every team game available and loving every minute; being part of something, the camaraderie, fun and competition. However, once I left one institution and started at another, Uni, I really channelled into the other exciting pastime I had discovered at school (aged 14!) nightclubs!!
So, it is now my biggest regret that I couldn’t balance sport and nightlife as so many others have at this time of my life. My healthy sporty life went out to be replaced with “all nighters”, staying up until dawn was the new competition in my life; celebrated and endorsed in our team of friends, with lots of ridiculous, highly toxic over sugary drinks with names like Two Dogs, Hooch and Purple Nasties, drunk in huge quantities to make sure there was absolutely no chance of sleep even if you wanted/needed to. Flaming sambucas were a particular favourite contest. The sense of dread/excitement that you might burn your lips or set your hair alight was literally so intoxicating that you had to do 10 or more in a night just to up the odds and get messier that your mates! (I am so sorry, poor liver)
But, the best bit for me about all this was the dancing. And I believe my sporty start in life helped in this endeavour. I had the stamina of a marathon runner and the moves of a gymnast (ha! a cartwheel is supposed to end face flat on the floor – right?!). Basically, I would spend hours shaking hips, throwing arms, performing intricate steps, generally gyrating myself around and around, pulling a number of crazy moves, alongside a number of my similar shape making buddies on the dance floor/chair/stage and my favourite, tables (a story for another day!).
Anyway, the answer to no. 2. have another go at my growing up hobbies … team sport and dancing.
I was very reticent and talked myself out of it a number of times for so many reasons – I’m too old, not fit enough, not good enough and the biggie – TIME, not enough of it.
But, after much cajoling, I took the plunge and have joined a Couch to Court netball team with a bunch of likeminded friends who also have the same views about us getting back into the short skirted (this is optional), ball throwing, jumping, stop-start, pivoting sport which frankly feels us with dread as we worry if we can actually get our body off the floor to jump (WTF!), if our pelvic floors will be up for the challenge (or should we wear a few more tenor ladies), if our muscles will move us in the right direction, quickly or for long enough, or the big one - what if we fall over and break a brittle bone…. Bloody hell, what am I doing.
However, a few weeks in and I LOVE IT, my body and brain has remembered all the intricacies of the game. I can throw and catch a ball, can just about run around for long enough without having a heart attack, and I have fallen over but walked away with minor scratches. But the highlight, and what has really got me hooked, was to be called a “superwoman” the other day as I defied gravity (ha-ha) to jump a good inch or so off the floor to catch the ball before my opponent could get it and then winning the coveted title of lady of the match. So delighted that I ran home to tell my 14-year-old the news, dancing around his room celebrating, he just laughed a brief “well done mother” and then politely asked me to get out of his room as he was on the phone to girlfriend – RUDE! And yet, receiving this bit of praise from my teammates has spurred me on.
Is it a bird, is it a plane, is it me, the superwoman, playing netball?
er obvs not, but maybe one day….
That being said, it has been hard juggling and committing to this every week as I am often exhausted, too busy with lifemin, work, kids’ stuff, etc, etc. but I have found the more I go, the better I get and the more I enjoy it, and I now really want to go, am making less excuses and making it a priority. Go me!
The next thing on my retro “get a life” list was dancing. I told Caroline that I want to go out dancing once a month, and she hasn’t disappointed, so far, we have been to an 80’s night, a grown-up disco, a 3-day festival and a Motown night. I am really sad to say my dance moves have not been as re-established, I just can’t seem to look as cool or be as energetic as I once was (why does that happen?!), I cannot stay up until dawn and do not want to drink copious amounts of puke inducing concoctions. However, like the netball, each night was brilliant, we had so much fun, and I even liked that my body ached for days afterwards!
Festival fun
I have enjoyed it so much, that I am not stopping my dancing come back at just a once a month night out. Also, because my moves are so dire, I am taking this one step further… this September I am signing up to an adult street dance class (my twins who are in a junior crew are mortified, they are just worried my worm will be better) …. So, watch out for my windmills and head spins on a dance floor next year.
Pushing myself to do these things has been and is still very difficult. You certainly don’t have to have a hobby, but if you have been thinking over and over about doing something new (or revisiting something old), just do it… it will no doubt be better than you expect and if not, just don’t go again, it’s really not a failure if you try, but you may regret not giving it a go.
If you are a local Breaker Babe, you are welcome to join me on a court or Caroline and I on a dance floor anytime, just bring your sense of humour and laugh at yourself. At the heart of Breaker is women supporting women through all of life’s challenges especially the fun ones.
Great read - Why Having a Little Hobby Is So Good for You, According to Science | Glamour UK (glamourmagazine.co.uk)