Sisters
Meet Margot, my sister’s baby, who is already a month old and is absolutely adorable and our youngest Breaker Babe. It is so wonderful to spend time with them both. It is making me so nostalgic for my babies, who are growing up so fast - my son just turned 14, FFS! I don’t know why I can’t remember much of the first year with mine, is it that I have blanked it out as it was so stressful or that it passed by in a blink of the eye and I was so tired? I think it’s a bit of both.
Supporting my sister in these newborn days has reminded me why creating The Breaker Collective is even more important for both pre & post baby women as well as women who want to be part of a community. Breaker will allow women to create connections & relationships, to share advice for all aspects of life including motherhood, share local recommendations, and network all over a coffee – or a glass of wine!
Two of Breaker’s Values are:
COMMUNITY - to find solutions, support and solace with and from the people around you.
BALANCE – to achieve life and professional goals, with self and family wellbeing at the core.
Trying not to burst the new baby bubble, I asked about her plans once her maternity leave comes to an end as I know she wants to go back to a career she loves and has worked damn hard to progress in. But how will she practically achieve this? We talk about how lucky she is - she can afford to take 12 months leave, her employer is very supportive and able to offer her the flexibility and hybrid working she will require, and her husband would be delighted to work part-time and do daddy day care. Of course she has me and our mum too, both clambering to help look after Margot (I can ALWAYS find time to spend nuzzling). This has made her very aware that if things were different she may not have had the choice to go back to work.
The “Motherhood Penalty” is the issue here. The following article in the Guardian explains how a quarter of a million mothers with young children have left their jobs because of difficulties with balancing work and childcare…
Motherhood penalty ‘has driven 250,000 women out of jobs’ | Childcare | The Guardian.
Even with the amount of flexibility and support described, my sister will still need to utilize paid childcare for her to return to work. This is the next worry ….. Where do they send Margot, that’s the best for her needs, is affordable and also logistically works? My sister is super organised, and did her research. I believe she found this more difficult as she had just moved into a new area and did not have a mummy network to gain any insight or recommendations from, which I believe is vital in making these decisions. Despite this, Margot is now on a long waiting list for 2025, and her place is NOT guaranteed…WTAF!!
I too have experienced this, and many of you may resonate with my story. I moved out of London when first pregnant to be nearer to family and find an affordable and greener place to bring up my new child. Throughout pregnancy, I continued to commute back to my corporate HR job in the city, took a years mat. leave and then returned to the same role. At that time, working from home was not an option (this was pre pandemic!) but lucky me my employer agreed my application for flexible working and ever so kindly said the only option was for me to work my full time hours over 4 days - oh how supportive!
I very quickly realised that dropping my son off at nursery at 7.30am and picking him up at 7.30pm and all the stress involved meant I just couldn’t cope. I felt I was letting everyone down; not being a good mum or being good at my job. It was a tricky decision, I had a great income and had raised through the ranks, however I was not happy and so jumped ship. Long story short, I ended up buying a pre-school, training as an Early Years Educator whilst pregnant with my second child and bringing my son to work with me everyday. I have run this business now for roughly 13 years, and it has been wonderful, allowing me to be with my children, juggle the load and earn an income at the same time.
My children are all at school now and although don’t need me as much, a mum’s job is never done (as my mum insists on telling me!) and I still want to be flexible to ensure I am there for the moments that matter… tomorrow, for instance, I am going to the schools sports day and who knows I may win the Mummy race or…
I may end up arse over tit like this poor mummy!
The new Flexible Working Bill will hopefully open up options and sooner: Flexible working changes 2024: How the new law works (personneltoday.com)
I am so excited that my two babies - The Breaker Collective and Meon Springs Montessori are hosting an event for any mummy this Friday (see below for more info.)
Come join us and find out more – book a space here: Meetups & Events — The Breaker Collective
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